The mind often deceives itself.
For example, when feeling hurt in a conversation, the immediate reaction might be: I don’t want to talk to this person ever again.
But instead of reacting impulsively, it’s important to honestly examine the feeling: “Why do I feel hurt? What is the underlying need behind this emotion? “Maybe it’s not about cutting ties, but rather a need for warmth, understanding, or support.
Avoidance is one pattern, where we shut down to escape pain. The other extreme is control. Trying to manipulate the other person’s actions to prevent ourselves from getting hurt.
The mind creates many illusions to protect the heart, but true clarity comes from facing our real emotions and needs with honesty.
我最近有个感悟是头脑会经常欺骗自己
举个例子：和一个人交流的时候感觉被伤害，想着以后再也不要联系了
这个时候要诚实地看到自己感到受伤—为什么感觉受伤—这个感觉的背后我是不是有什么需要（比如：我并不是想要断绝联系，我需要的是有温暖的互动，需要被支持被理解，等等）
所以这个断绝联系的模式是逃避
和逃避相对的另外一个模式是去控制。为了不感到受伤，去控制对方的言行按照我想要的方式来
头脑为了保护心不受伤害，会有很多很多虚假的想法
要诚实面对真正的感受和需要